Sparks fly!

you ignite me! :">

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

Let it be known to the whole universe that today, I am one of those content employees who is just blossom coming out from a boss's office having just received a meaningful compliment!!!
Je suis tres content!! :)
I am SO crossing my fingers for an increase this year-end!!! *LOL*

amoureux moi..

5 years ago... I would've given up everything for this..
It's really funny how life works itself on people..
Thank you for everything..
Most of all, thank you for turning back toward me, and walk with me in the same path..

It is really nice to have warmth while treading life's cold road.. Thank you again.. for you.. :)

and this is what we got :)

This is us.. :)

the extreme way

I read somewhere, if you want to make some change to you, your environment, or your life which is dear to you, you have to do it the extreme way, just in case you always failed to make the change.
It also could apply to your loved ones. In my case, several times ago, for some reason, I knew that the significant other of mine had no equal reciprocation, feeling-wise. I actually kinda knew that this was not working out, cuz it's not good for me, to have feelings more than I received. Not good for my easily-scarred heart.. haha!. And the relationship did end a year ago. I had to step back for a reason. I had to deal with the pain and the sudden loss of self-esteem which quite naturally you have to endure after every break-up. It took me lots of months to recover fully.. But I had to admit, I actually never succeeded in erasing the person totally (we did have great times). For this, let me quote from a movie I like: " You can erase someone from your mind. Getting them out of your heart is another story" (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind). So the person was not totally erased.. still lingered in the bottom of my sub-conscious, I guess.. But it was okay.. I could go on with my life, with a little something here and there that reminds me of the person. Not damaging. Just okay.
But then few months ago, fate led us to meet each other again. And from that night, all "hell" broke loose. The feelings that were firmly contained, the memories that was supposedly lingering dormantly in my mind suddenly ran amok. Because there it was! The person! The personification of my love, my ideal depiction of someone special right in front of me! No matter how hurt I was before, the sight of the person really washed it all.. And I was needed.. Well, maybe just for company, or just for an ear to lend.. it's okay. I was willing to face the consequences. I risked another break to my old heart, but I grasped myself and said, "I'd face anything to have the person again in my life". Just the presence. Nothing more.
Although suddenly I was reminded of how dreaded love could be. How you could feel hopelessly in love with someone who hurt you, left you and truly showed that you are just not special, without being able to leave them and erase them completely from your mind. I realized that I risked being trapped in the same web; the evil and sinister web of love! haha!!
Just after I thought of it, something happened that really made me quite angry to the person at that time, I had to disconnect the phone to avoid myself saying rude things to that person I cared so much. The moment and the emotion was unavoidable, and the reaction I got was just an sms. I guess I irritated the person at the other end of the line :p Well, it irritated me as much! Just an sms?! After all we had?! (oh well, perhaps what we had was special only for me and not the other way around)
Nevertheless, there was a pang of remorse in me.. But hey.. Perhaps this is what it takes for me to move on..
I really do hope this way could make me over the hurt and the inadequateness I feel.. but definitely not the memories.. :)
So thank you.. for hurting me again and for making me took the extreme way..

.....

why?..

The BEST love song ever..

I'll paint my mood in shades of blue
Paint my soul to be with you
I'll sketch your lips in shaded tones
draw your mouth to my own

I'll draw your arms around my waist
then all doubt I shall erase
I'll paint the rain that softly lands
on your wind blown hair

I'll trace a hand to wipe your tears
a look to calm your fears
a silhouette of dark and light
while we hold each other oh so tight

I'll paint a sun to warm your heart
Swearing that we'll never part

that's the Color of my Love

I'll paint the truth, show how I feel
try to make you completely real

I'll use a brush so light and fine
to draw you close and make you mine

I'll paint a sun to warm your heart
Swearing that we'll never part

that's the Colour of my Love

I'll draw the years all passing by
So much to learn, so much to try

And with this ring our lives will start
swearing that we'll never part

I offer what you cannot buy
devoted love until we die...